This is almost as good as the Chuck Norris ones...
Only two people dared to argue with Jack Bauer. David Palmer and Michelle Dessler. Tony apologized.
If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12".
When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack Bauer found it and put it back.
If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.
Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.
Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.
Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.
Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a real fact.
Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.
If Jack Bauer was gay, his name would be Chuck Norris
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